Sunday, November 27, 2005

HIGH HOPES

Sitting high on a hilltop I watched the cattle graze
Suddenly I saw her silhouette,but she vanished without a trace
I rushed downwards on my knees stumbling and falling
To my dismay I saw her with someone else and my heart was left wailing

She always told "You are my best friend"
Little did I realise that with girls this was always the trend
Fool I was to press on the matter
Because she had warned me - Someday your dreams would shatter

I landed up with a job and was really inspired
Little did I know that something had already transpired
I told her "I really love you"
She said do not tell all this as I was not even in the queue

"What the hell do you mean?"I shrieked
It was you and only you that I ever seeked
I put down the phone with a bang
Only to feel something shoot up like a pang

Today I try to find myself and feel all alone
She is far away from me in a world unknown
Someone said life is like a mountain with many slopes
Strange it is that at such a time I am listening to Pink Floyd's High Hopes

Sunday, November 20, 2005

LEFT OR RIGHT

Well well whoever doubted vaguely or completely about my literary skills especially writing,u neednt doubt it anymore.The article which I wrote n sent to my friend for the IIM Indore bloggers competition was put to its place i.e. as expected it dint win a prize and poor friend of myn Anoop was left wondering y did I ask him 2 write?So my dear friends I really pity ur patience 'cos u have 2 bear with me and my style of scribbling.Anyways today morning precisely from 10:30 - 1:00 I underwent a self esteem depriving test called CAT.Whoever thinks ur really intelligent plzz do try this 'cos u will find out the truth very fast.U neednt attend quizzes or by heart the encylopaedia but do write the CAT.After going thru the paper I felt even more worse than being rejected by a girl.1100 bucks for having a look at St marys church.If there was a window of an opportunity it was blown away very quickly by a b'ful lady who by the virtue of pure misfortune got to sit beside me.Now its not everyday that a b'ful gal comes n sits beside Ashwin.And when there was nothing to look in the paper I wisely thought otherwise.Half the time I was gawking at her and saw something very strange.I dont know whether it came actually to her or did she practise it for the sake of CAT.If it was for CAT I sincerely hope that she gets thru.She was marking the OMR sheet with her left hand and was using the eraser with her right hand.It was so continuous n rythmic.It was a very simple thing but I was amazed at the ease with which she was managing to do it.

This got me thinking.I was always amazed at the differences which arise when u do things the left or right.Simply staing it u find so many things which when percieved or done or when ur in the left or the right zone cud mean many things.Simple way to start, in India its always stated as a rule in the book to keep to ur left where as u do the same thing in US n u cud land up with a TICKET against ur name.When someone eats with the left hand v look at him in a disgusted way.Dont ask me U know why?Well if u still dint understand Americans dont have that problem.All this has been brought about due to so many factors but the main thing being superstitions brought about by religions. Centuries ago, the Catholic Church declared left-handed people to be servants of the Devil. For generations, left-handers who attended Catholic schools were forced to become right-handed.And from then on left was considered as woman and right as man.So woman is the devil huh.Crap I guess even though to an extent its definitely true.So many things these days like wearing a watch on the left side or the right side is a fashion statement.Wat's the difference?I guess I wont understand.And one more incident I remember from wat happened in my flats.A girl tied Raakhi on my left hand and I became the clown of the moment when my friends told that Raakhi on the left hand is tied for only their woh woh.And plzz solve this puzzle for me.A guy, if he wears a stud in which ear becomes a gay?Theres some more drama to it like if it is on left side durin nite ur a gay.Now females wear bigger studs or earings on both ears.so FEMALE=MALE+GAY.This is even more rubbish than my logic.

In almost every Indian movie I have a seen a scene of the good for nothing bride entering the house first slamming her right leg in.Well I have even seen it live.Jesus christ himself famously qouted "not let thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth".And how did I forget this?Everyday v c this scene in front of our eyes.The typically shy girl resting her head on the right shoulder of a guy and holding his right hand.The real reason is v guys keep our purse in the right pocket of our pant.Hmm got it now atleast be careful.Atlast I cud decipher something but anything I do generally is towards the useless.Thank god these ppl havent taken this left or right syndrome to obsession levels.Imagine hunks like Salman build only their right hand muscles and right side chest.That wud be quite a sight.The Roman word for "left" is "sinister", and the phrase meaning "masturbation" is translated to "left-handed whore".Now when did a guy turn into a whore?So do not trust any left handed males.He might after all turn out to be a whore.Now again there's the left brain and the right brain syndrome which is the only thing true 'cos it has been proven and accepted.Wat about Da Vinci then?He cud paint with his right hand and write something at the same time with his left hand.I guess all equations vanish if u consider him as an example.But ppl have found a clever way of tackling this also-Exceptions are not examples.Ironic it is that a left handed guy lambasted even in this blog is sending shivers down my spine by almost promising to comeback.Enuf of left n right I guess.When viewed separately ur brain imagines so many things with them or even worse contorts them into a series of unfathomable expressions.But watch it in sync like the girl who did it sitting beside me u'll know it's value and it's effect.Or even better the March Past which the Army is so proud of is a smooth sequence of these two things.View them together u'll know it's beauty or else u will have 2 read blogs such as these.I guess u wud be wiser for the thought.But one thing which is still beautiful even when it is single is a child sucking his left thumb.I have never seen a child suck his right thumb so far.Now y is that?
ashwin

Sunday, November 13, 2005

GARAM MASALA

Weekend weekend wow I really craved for this and yo I got it and guess wat I made use of quality time available to me.No I did not come back to office to finish something nor did I prepare Gung ho for CAT.It was becoming quite a fashion for all leading personalities even for idiots like Tamil actor Prashant to tell that "I am presently gobbling up the The Da Vinci Code,It's an amazing book".Well I never knew from where and when these guys all of a sudden started to behave like critics of Vikram Seth.Gosh it was hurting me and irritating me to find all these fools who act in movies which confirms my stand that they are indeed fools.It was irritating me because being an okay sort of a reader I cud not get hold of the da Vinci code for nearly one and a half years.But that bad streak was put to an end,when I not finding anything worthwhile to accompany me to the loo hurried off to Crossword joint at Shoppers Stop.Hurried because I was a man in a real hurry.I managed to come back with the book faster than wat Ganguly does at the wicket and resigned myself to the smell of Odonil and The Da Vinci Code.I was dumbstruck to say the least after reading 280 pages of the book.I just cud not get my hands off the book.I know wat u perverted minds are thinking right now.Did that asshole come out of the loo or not?

I did come out after 20 pages and its not my graveyard anyway.But really such compelling reading I guess this is the second best book in my rankings after Catch 22 even though I have not finished it.The fact that amazed me more was I read the remaining braindead novels of his Digital fortress,Angels and demons and one more sick one,I do not remember that name.When I read each of those books I thought wat sort of shit does this guy write when he is acclaimed to be a great writer.Ya I got that other novel of his Deception Point.I can say with a hint of arrogance that the last novel that I mentioned was even more worse than my blog.I just cud not believe what I was reading when the Da Vinci code was in my hand.I cud not understand so many things and had to take the help of the net a couple a times.That was the only time I guess I left my prized posession.Seriously anyone reverred in the field of symbols or iconography plzzz do enlighten me.But the weekend just did not pass by only with Da Vinci and his inner world.There is the match b/w India and South Africa coming up and I was trying desparately to get tickets.Again luk has not been on my side lately and I have not been able to push the matter further.Along with the iconographers someone having couple a tickets plzz do help me.I almost forgot to mention I did watch Garam Masala as the title suggests.I initially was unwilling to go to the movie because of 4 reasons:-
1.The director was Priyadarshan who according to me falls in third in list of worst personalities ever, the first two being Charu Sharma and Anu Malik in random order.U decide who shud be placed first and second.After Anumalik he is the biggest Copycat I have ever seen.His formula is simple copy hit Tamil comedy movies and thats what he did with Herapheri and Hungama.Everytime he has tried something original like Lesa Lesa in tamil or Kyun Ki in Hindi he has shown his true Aukaadh
2.It was rated as excellent by my brother who has given the excellent rating to movies such as Mujse Shaadi Karogi,Jis Desh Mein Ganga Behta Hain and innumerous other movies.He is good at rating tamil MEGA serials also.Want to know more about him?
3.The movie was being screened at IMAX.Now Imax is a place that has the feeling hip attached only to the name.Once u step inside it u will find the entire jobless section and the marvadi housewives and all the lovesick pairs inside.Its quite a sight to behold.I have always had a feeling Dawood is hiding somewere there.
4.There was Akshay Kumar in it whose sincere attempts at acting turns out into a comedy like his Khiladi series and not to mention the braindead dumbo John Abraham whose acting skills are as good Parthiv Patel's Catching skills behind the stumps.

Surprised was I when I saw the movie.It looked like PriyaDarshan's original effort 'cos there was some sick comedy too.But on the whole it was pretty ok.Just leave ur brains out when u enter the hall and it is 3 hrs of timepass.Akshay Kumar was surprisingly ok but John like Geoffrey Boyott says was getting no were.Again Priyadarshan proved he still is the worst around by offering limited scope to one of the best comedy actors around Paresh Rawal.And the songs were also surprisingly ok in the sense u dint have 2 go to the restroom each time a song came on but they were repetitive as like any hindi song.Anyways its a bit of fun and some timepass.For a weekend its pretty gud timepass.
signing off
ashwin

Thursday, November 10, 2005

READ THIS

I got a strange request from a friend of myn doing his M.B.A at IIFT Delhi.He was participating in the IIM Indore Bloggers competition which is open for all the B-Schools I guess essentially.The topic was "ARE BLOGS AN ALTERNATIVE FOR CONVENTIONAL MEDIA?".Ya the thing was he wanted me 2 write something on this topic and send it to him.I call this strange because having known him from my childhood I knew that his literary skills were pretty good.So I was thinking poor guy my friend he is willingly gonna loose his shot at glory.But anyways the crazy blogger that I am I wrote an article for him and he has sent it to the competition.The best thing about the competition is there is no screening.All entries are scanned and only the winner and the runner are announced.So I guess me n my friend are saved of maanabhangam.Anyways its nothing wrong to hope as long as u hope for the best.Have a look at what I wrote and put in ur comments as u have always done.Here it goes:

Weblogs or blogs as they are shortly called or affectionately called or lazily called are slowly but silently gaining importance as far as freedom of thought is concerned.There was always the case of "He is talented Machan but no one knows anything about his talent".It's obvious that you cannot sit atop a rickshaw and with a loudspeaker to ur mouth keep barking"I am talented" nor can your friend do that for you.I have personally seen many people whose scribblings were as silken as Ganguly's drives,but the sad part was hardly anyone knew that the person with so and so name could write.If anyone who was talented enough to screw words in the appropriate way wanted to show his or her expertise always had to go through a channel - The Media.In such cases there was a huge chance that you could go unnoticed or your work not reaching everyone.But all that was set right when weblogs came into existance.Imagine even a Whacko like me getting a chance to express myself.Now all of a sudden due to Blog Rennaisance you find a large no of Whackos but mind you mostly creative ones.The thing is what you wanted to say in your own style has been delivered.It is there for everyone to see and it is upto people to decide what they think of your scribblings.

In this sense the topic whether Blogs are an alternative to conventional media assumes higher importance.All of a sudden there is an excitement.This is due to the fact that to discuss such a topic am not speaking but writing ,to put it even better terms I am blogging.Blogs are getting more and more important in the sense that it is the first big step towards unleashing your creativity.When you are writing something for a newspaper or a magazine or for some news channel there's always the fear of filteration.Words could be told in a different way or published in some other way for any no of reasons and in the end you would be left wondering like Ganguly "What went wrong?".Now a days for every website you seem to have a place for blogs.Now why is that when already information is available?You have articles by people like Peter Roebuck,Nirmal Shekar and Mike Marquesse on sports and a variety of things and all these are available in the print media .But even then on the net you would find blogs on all such stuff which are available freely and are read by a large contingent of people and which are really good.The thing is for a blog creativity is the limit.Only that particular person is responsible for all he has written.Neither are u answerable to anyone nor can anyone question you.Precisely that is the place were telling that blogs can revolutionise or replace conventional media ends.There is so much that every person would want to tell.We love newspapers for the nice fact that they are precise and give necessary details because that is what is permitted to write.But imagine a situation where you want some international news, all the recent one's and all the tidbits.IF blogs were the only source at that time just imagine the chaos that would happen each person writing filthy articles like this one and havin a go at Ganguly almost once in every para and where is the news.Or imagine India wins a match and no media available only blogs.Wat do we do?How do we know what's Rahul thinking?Yaa very simple ask him to write a blog after every match that would be real cool.Imagine if Ganguly had blogged his tiff with Chappell instead of tellin it out.How would anyone ask him what actually happened?Write another blog I guess.Yaa but it would have been helpful in cases like Vivek Oberoi's tantrums.He would have tried to blog the entire episode and in sheer frustration building in due to the slow realisation of his poor English would have saved everyone's time.It happens once in a while.There would be no more speeches by Bush to the public- Thank god for that.He would blog his entire speech out and no would even give it a half read.In no sense can a blog replace conventional media.There cannot be even half thoughts of anything as catastrophic as that happening.It would be like Ganguly coming back to the team and scoring runs all over again.It is as simple as that.Media symbolises the freedom to push,to peep,to show the truth and everything one can name.With power comes respnsibility,once that is understood it is safe to reconcile to the fact that blogs cannot replace conventional media.Its a tough thing for all the bloggers to accept but that's what it is.But do remember the first step towards unleashing creativity is always the blog.For a blogger it will always remain his first love.

signing off
ashwin

Sunday, November 06, 2005

GOVINDA GOVINDA

Hii people back after a long layoff.It was real fun till last friday when I had to pack my bag and go 2 tirupathi.Everything was perfect.Flight takin off at right time,landing without any fuss,picturesque environment greeting us when we landed.I cudnt have asked for anything more.Little did I realise the horrors of visiting the costliest God on the planet.Found out that VIP passes were as good as Ganguly's comments on Chappell and it would be of no use.So unceremoniously we were packed off from Tirumala back 2 Tirupathi.Took tickets went back,stood in q for 4 hrs,sacrificed food water and dint even urinate only to be out of the SANCTUM SANCTORUM as fast as Ganguly's stay at the wicket.Also found out a way to take frustration out of your system.Just go and get a job as security gaurd at that place.U can do anything to the pilgrims.Pull them, push them,shove them and repeat these steps again in increasing order of frustration.Do all the above things harder if ur more frustrated.So it keeps going on and on.U shud thank ur stars if u get out of that place in one piece.Since this was the first and this wud be the last time also.So anyone planning for Tirupathi do not think ur VIP's u will be put in ur place very fast.Take a bottle of scent with u very very necessary.Mentally prepare urself for getting mauled physically and guys if ur shy do not go 'cos there wud be lots a oomphs n aahs and girls if ur the typical Indian nari who wud take her slipper out even if a male fingernail falls on her then it's not the place to be.U can peacefully bide ur time at the loo.

Well u can consider all this as a joke or some pain in the neck writing.But seriously u must be there to know how they treat people within the temple premises.I saw some physically handicapped people too being handled the same way.Just cant imagine the plight of all thosee poor people standing in the DHARMA DARSHAN Q waitin for days together only to be swatted out like a irritant musquito.Agreed there's a huge crowd but I guess it cud've been handled in a better way.I guess am bitching about this 'cos if the VIP pass had been accepted I wudnt have spoken about all this.It was a rude wake up call which I certainly dint enjoy.I guess I will settle for Birla Mandir from now.There seems to be no difference at all and when u can relax and have a breathtaking view from there why rush 2 Tirupathi.There were many other things which were disturbing.Everywere in the town I found hoardings of MEGASTAR Chiranjeevi as they call him here.I dont have anything against hoardings of cine actors but the thing he was certifying THUMS UP.Who the hell is he to certify that a drink is good when it has been proved by reputed govt. bodies that it is as good as Harpic.Just imagine the effects it will have on innocent people who believe in their heroes blindly.And if MEGASTAR was doing this at state level another guy has taken this up a notch further.Aamir khan is stamping his authority on Coke.These guys are so sick.They wud tell anything for money I guess.God knows wat else is in stock.Mebbe u wud've Hrithik campaigning for Ganguly and sayin "OLD IS GOLD".Ads have always been a powerful weapon as far as capturing a persons imagination is concerned.Our govt seems to be the funniest they ban all sorts of things, but when something comes up against wat they themselves have clarified there is no action taken.For international brands u have guys like these and now one may see people like Sunny Deol certifying brands like gutkha.In that sense I think hats off 2 KamalHaasan for never being sucked into ads.Same even 2 Rajni.I guess all these people must be sent to Tirupathi without VIP passes.Everything wud be rectified.So from now I guess if my brother troubles my mom she wud scare the hell out a him by tellin "GOVINDA GOVINDA".Thinkin about Govinda I wish he certifies any of these controversial brands.Am speakin about Coolie no 1 Govinda.The brand wud never sell 'cos ppl wud definitely know its a sick joke.
P.S:-I still remain the samson even though many swords were out to cut my hair and I forgot today is Kamal's birthday so happy b'day Mr.KamaHaasan
cheers,
ashwin
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