Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Offers galore

Long time it's been I guess.I am finding it tough to put in words.Now I can feel how Ganguly feels each time he goes in to bat.It's been nearly 45 days since I have written any of my usual crap.Here I am again having broken my self imposed exile from the writing world.Well to say the least lots of things have happened.Another year has gone by,but this was the first I took a resolution and even managed to achieve it on the 1st of Jan itself.Had a good clean haircut.The barber was of the opinion that there was enough hair on my head to build a nest.In between all this I was fortunate to watch a spectacle called Rang De Basanti.I had a great experience just watching the movie.No words would be enough I guess to describe the movie.And yes let me tell you the joke of the year so far.
Fact:Jayasurya was ruled out from the newzealand tour
Joke:He slipped in the bathroom while trying to shampoo a vastly uncultivated piece of land-his barren head..LOL the moment I heard this news I was in splits.He deserved to slip and fall I guess.May be from now even shampoos will have statutory warnings:Do not apply to bald head.

There has been a spurt of offers recently at all the shopping malls in Hyderabad.You can find all these advertisements,hoardings and all such stuff saying so and so discount and blah blah.I was always scared of this word 'upto'.Anywere I see "Discount upto 50%" outside any shopping mall,I manage to tell myself "Do not go in and make a fool out of yourself".Reason is they would give you 50% discount on undies and stinking socks and there would be 5% discount on a cool denim jacket.See this leads to potentially disastrous situations.But what if you saw a sign "Flat 50% off".Man I almost jumped when my friend told me about this offer.And guess what the offer was on Pepe.The offer was at country club,Begumpet.Man I was already thinking of getting couple a cool denims and was even planning to get my brother one.We reached the place and we were delighted seeing the collection.Add to the delight it was siesta time so not many people fooling around.We were left to ourselves.There were jeans of the cost 899 and I was like wow,after discount only 450 bucks.But to my dismay there was no changing room.There clothes and clothes around,no place to change.That was the time I thought of those golden days when my waist was a strict 30 and I could confidently pick anything and keep moving.Now alas it is 34 and still showing no signs of stopping.So to my extreme discomfort ,on the suggestion of the brain dead owner I decided to try that jeans standing behind a bench.The thing was htere were no females until that point.The moment I striiped myself and had the Pepe one on,yo out of the blue there stepped in 2 damsels.God it was a horrible position to be in.The shop owner asking me to somehow strip the Pepe off and me caught between shyness and shame.It is exactly at such kinda moments that girls start talking about lemonade and serials.This is what exactly happened.
Owner:Sir plzz theeyandi sir...theeyandi maane remove in telugu(In a hushed tone)
Me:Hey boss paanch minute dhenaa..plzzz mere baap
Owner:5 more minutes u wear that u have to pay for it
Me:Un ladikiyo ko jaane de..mein tere liye nangaa naach bhi karronga..paanch minute mere baap

In the mean time I was standing like a japanese flowervase and cursing myself and the owner.These girls wont leave.They called another female and told her to rush down immediately to country club..Oh god I started visualising myself like a male strip dancer in a all women's club..And at last they moved out and I have never seized an opportunity as gladly ever in my life.Well this was not the end of it.And after regaining lost ground and getting back my composure I asked the owner to get the bill.Those females were watching and with all my grace I asked the owner"U accept card kyaa?".The owner replied in the affirmative.As he was about to scratch the card on the machine something caught my eye.The bill was reading 1798 only.WTF was goin on I only took 2 jeans.I managed to stop the owner and I told him the bill was wrong.It was then that idiot explained to me that the price was 899 after the discount.Oh god another embarassment before the fairer sex.Well this has always been the case.I learnt a lesson I guess girls and offers are never lucky for me.And when together-Dont read it girls for offer or girls on offer they are always elusive....
P.S:Will write something better the next time,now that valentine's day is approaching


Sriram said...

i missed it man..should have come with u guys..neways venkoth gave a real hyped version of it..xpectin some real funny valentine blog da

cartic said...

Matchi that was not like gangulli batting.. bradman's return kind.. never down ne time .. nice one lolzd a lot ..wotha I know how horribl ur situation was ...well as u said cant put them in words...

Arjun said...

i dint laugh as much as i did rite now wen u tol me bout this on the same evening!!!! i could visualise it this time!!!! try ur luck wid gals n offers elsewhere!!!!

Anonymous said...

looks like you make a good comic in front of the "fairer" sex.....way to go ashwin....looks like you are on the edge of valentine's day special!!!!

Freak-Y said...


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