Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine's Day

Again and again this is that day of the year which I always hope hopen against.Now to all those saints who are just blinking like a new born kid,lemme tell you today is a very holy day in the Indian calendar.This is the day when Shani sits on the top of Rahu and Kethu.This happens only on this day.People take to the streets and sing hymns,bhajans and pray for more such days,especially the youth.Just kidding.No need for any grand introductions I guess.Today is another valentine's day.I dont know which one,I mean I do not know the number but according to some classified reports it is still behind the no of episodes of Ekta Kapoor's K serials.Well today is one day when I reflect generally on life.The years that have gone by and the sense of being a spectator again.But this is real cool you can watch all the action free of cost.No loss No gain.This was the day when I somehow managed to find myself alone.All around the city I can see red balloons floating everywhere.I dont know how people on this very day get so fascinated by balloons especially red ones.In all the excitement building up to this day and everything gets settled they forget to use the balloons recommended by the govt.Man how long can you blame the govt?Even they are trying their best.Initially they thought of passing a bill which prohibits selling of balloons on this day 'cos their were reports that all the MIG's were crashing specificallly only on the 14th of feb.I dont know the Rang De team could missed such a vital stat.But their were repulsions all over the country against it,strikes bigger than the one's in RDB.So the govt was forced to drop this move.The last time I saw so many balloons on one day was when Sonia Gandhi came to Hyderabad for the congress session.

Everywhere you go all you can see are those heart shaped balloons.I dont know who was that idiot who ever gave heart such a shape.Just walking down the pavement one can see those innumerable couples hand in hand talking ear 2 ear n god knows wat and wat not.Well I can understand their situation.Imagine they had to sit at home and they switch on the tv and all they can watch anywhere is Gay sex lover Karan Johar's endless love sagas Kuch Kuch Hota Hai,Kal Ho Naa Ho and not to forget yash chopra's contribution to all this his endless list of AMAR PREM kahanis like DDLJ,Veer Zaara were the hero heroine continuously cry and in the process so much of Phlegm is seen flowing from their nose that they clutch each other at the sight of Phlegm flowing and clean it with their bare hands.Wow wat a touching scene...this is real love..the Phlegm is the turning point in all shahrukh movies.He has got loads of them and can release it anytime like a dam for Yash Chopra and Gay sex hero.According to classified reports Yash Chopra was the one who caught hold of this talent of Shahrukh.During the shooting of Darr there was a scene in which blood had to flow out of Shahrukh's nose to show him like a Psychopath but instead guess wat flowed?And as they say the rest is history.Shahrukh went on to do great things without a handkerchief.Man imagine with such showings on all hindi channels wat else do they do.Instead of watching that they better move out and help guys like us.Us is meant for people who are working,working so much that their work is getting as tight as their pants and ever increasing waistline does not help one's cause for such occasions.

There are certain rules and regulations one needs to follow on such momentous occasions.I vividly remember my V-days at college.It was the first year of my engineering and I wud like everyone of you to believe that I was a kid then and I had no knowledge about this fantasy world of valentines.I had worn Black and Black on that day and attended college.I still remember he lecture I got from my prof.I was taken aback by the resounding lecture I got,not only me everyone were 'cos everyone had worn peculiar colours that day.It was later that we realised that the prof. was setting his sights on a girl in our class.Well I was the sacrificial lamb that day.He had become a hero and I as always zero.It was later in the day that I came to know that each colour meant something and it was more complex than spectral analysis of white light.Here you go

Blue - Already loving someone but wud be still willing when my partner isnt around
Red - Single and more than willing to mingle
Green - I am a vegetarian and love nature..sorry I am available to everyone(sounds like chameli)
White - It stands for peace meaning I am not for anything 'cos I cant shag or do anything man.I am a mix of Karan Johar and Elton John
Yellow - I love the colour of shit..so I dont take all this shit..friendship
Black - I will fall only for a person who is deaf,dumb and blind and one who walks on hands and legs.. I only believe in animal sex
Hey do not categorise me in that Black section..I was innocent at that point in my love life.Wat if someone wore white and black?I will have sex with a bull.I guess all this has got to do with the Romans for a change.Somehow they started to celebrate this in the memory of Sage Valentine.It's good that the Romans started this because for everything we keep blaming Pakistan.India's population is ever increasing and reason..this is the work of the ISI who are spreading their wings and Legs and blah blah...Well in between all this on V-day there will be another big comedy unfolding.This would be mainly at Mumbai.I can bet on anything on the world that the most despo people in the world will have to be the Shiv Senaites.They wud be vandalising Mcdonald's year after year and no one even gives a damn.Mcdonalds himself allocates some glasses and tables so that they can break it withou any fuss.Poor guys why dont they understand girls will not give into Bhaashans on being a true Maratha Warrior.Poor fellows end up showing all their frustration on already broken tables.Guess I am more or less behaving like an idiot who has not got his share of glory.Just a feeling of myn that you neednt have a specific day to feel your love or tell someone about it.Anyday would do.But for all those people who have booked tables and got chocolates for your dear ones....have a blast.......Happy Valentine's day...... Take her to a nice place..good restaurant dim lights and jazz music..get a good gift..and get ready to burn money and most important dont use any of those lines from Shahrukh's movies... and yeah dont forget the roses especially the Red one's 'cos those are the only one's they sell today.As to what I would be doing today there is always a Sunny Deol movie on T.V. No matter what ever the occasion he would be fighting terrorists.His latest movie has a plot in which Pakistan Jasoos plan to strike at all clubs and parks which are hosting V-day celebrations.He has to foil it and keep up the good work and so do I.

P.S:- Plannin to ask my Dad to take my Mom out.I guess I already got the answer.


Arjun said...

LOL!!!! the post was awesome!!!! well i kno y u jus get 2 watch the show n not be part of it.....coz in every post of urs u show so much of luv 2wards shahrukh n his fans!!!!!well good try....u atleast THOUGHT bout askin dad!!!!!

sairam said...

Nice one indeed...infact i liked the ones where you tried to explain you as an innocent guy...well can this be believed?Ofcourse i dont knwo what happened on that particulr day u were taling about in your blog..
well i think it has now become a prestige to have a girlfriend atleast in the society you want in an out day-after-day....wherever you go u find people speaking in their phones for a long time...i wonder what they will speak ...if they have that thought flowing in their mind then i advice them to channelise those for something good purpose than to impress their loved ones...anyways nice blog indeed...

ganty said...

sometimesur blog seems to point one question in my cerebral (in)capacity
"Is technology a boon or bane to mankind"?

Hiren said...

From what you have mentioned, Sunny Deol sounds like representing Shiv sena in the movie.

ganty said...

lost?? not around these days?

Freak-Y said...

Loved the shah rukh khan bashing.

liked the spectral analysis

didnt understand tha part about the balloons and MIGS though

and hell with shiv sainiks in maharstra :D

atleast we are hyderabadi, and we is cool with that. just want to see ur post, when u finally do get a girl

freak-y said...

dude linked up ur blog to mine, hope u dun mind

ganty said...

post post!!

Zero said...

u love someone dude??
u sound as if you used to and it ended up in a unhappy note

smruthi said...

hey itz really cooool awesome comedy :-)

Aru said...

Awesomeness !!!.

Aru said...

But i am not sure y do u have so much of a Gand against Srk !!..