Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Line of Fire

Note:- This is my first attempt at writing a story(serious one).And another warning - it is terribly big.So hope you have the patience to read it and enjoy it.

"Shit,Not so fast",he thought.He was lying by the bushes,deep cuts over his hands courtesy the barbed wires.He was trapped in what they called the Chakravyooh.There was no escaping this time.But this was what he wanted all through these six months.He had always found himself ways to get killed but everytime it missed by a whisker.People around him mistook it for courage and valour.He had always walked right into death's mouth only to come unscathed each time.After all no one knew the reason behind his madness.There was always this veil of bravery and love for one's country shielding him.His madness was hidden behind that.That was what he loved the most-A place to hide.A place where no one knew his burning inner desires.A place where he could bury himself and his fears.He felt desparate by each passing day.It was just not happening for him.He had thrown himself thrice into the pitch of the battle hoping he would die and his misery would end.But for all his efforts he ended up saving 3 lives of his fellow countrymen."Bastards" he thought,when the squadron leader announced his name was being sent for the gallantry awards.An award to kill,an award to save and an award for getting killed.Same award for all fucking reasons."Fuck these awards", he kept murmuring."Even the Govt. seems to be propogating death" albeit it was others lives which mattered for the govt. unlike his.

As he was lying by the bushes,crawling all over his wounds his reasoning power seemed to go down.All he could think of was September 13.He remembered everything all too clear.He was a happy go lucky individual who even had the good fortune of falling in love with a wonderful girl.But that day everything fell apart from the seams."Pick the call,Pick the call" he was shouting for the nth time.This was his 21st call in the last 15 minutes.But either the call was cut or the phone was left buzzing.And then she picked the call and to his dismay all she uttered was "It is over,tell your parents and keep telling yourself also".He shook with horror when he realized the full impact of her statement.His mind was racing.What had gone wrong?What grave mistake did he do?Then it struck him.In his anxiety to make the road clear for him to live with her he had informed about their affair to all and sundry.Her father was getting the news through everyone except the guy."Thats it" she and her father decided.They decided to put a full stop to all this drama once and for all.Her dad informed him in no plain terms that he could never marry his daughter and when he said "But your daughter loves me" then come the bolt which left him high and dry at that moment.His love, in more plainer terms than her dad told "I never loved him,It was he who kept calling me even though I was against it".That was the final nail in the coffin.The issue was settled once and for all.All he had inside him was rage and an urge to finish himself.He tried calling her to explain himself and ask for a reason but all he got was "This Number is not accepting any calls at this moment,Please try again later".He kicked the turf,sent hate mails to her and called her a bitch.She replied back saying "You call the girl you were supposed to be madly in love as a bitch.There is nothing anymore".Once a bitch always a bitch, he cursed and spat.The bathroom was his refuge.He dint know whether it was the tears or the shower which was washing him.In sudden impulse he grabbed the Harpic bottle and thought he would wash down his intestines with it.But all he could do was fling the bottle away in frustration.The truth was out.In his own eyes he felt he was not man enough to take his own life.

The war was out.Blood was being spilled like water from a water tanker.The country needed more men.More men to kill,more men to die so that more awards could be given away.War according to him was the most cowardly and saddistic act ever known to mankind where unknown people kill known and unknown people.It was the perfect place for a coward like him to hide.He knew he would be definitely killed.And for all you know he might end up with a medal around his corpse which would instill false prestige in one's near and dear to him.The thought excited him.What a way to get killed.Which man would love to get his face unmasked and show his coward side to the world.He decided that was it and enrolled for the war under the garb of fighting for his country.Everytime he heard news that enemy was advancing his pulse would race and he would let out a satisfied smile.But alas it was not that simple.Getting killed in a war by the enemy wasnt happening for him.The bullets always dodged him.He never seemed capable of stepping on a landmine and neither could an enemy kill him bare handed when he was cornered all alone.It was getting to him.It was now or never.Within two days the Nothern Infantry would be moving in.Once that happened the enemy would definitely be vanquished.They wouldnt be able to even god damn fart without them being detected.

This was his best chance.He along with another proud patriot had been sent to monitor the enemy's weapon positions and artillery strength.But the proud patriot in an over zealous attempt to count the no. of pimples on his enemy's forehead put himself directly in the line of fire.He could see what had happened and just about caught a glimpse of a guard taking aim at the patriot."This is my chance", he told to himself between gritted teeth.He lunged at the patriot and pulled him down.It was exactly at that time he felt someone stab a hot iron rod through his chest.He was shot.Another shot was fired and it caught the patriot right on the head.He looked up in horror at the patriot.It was then that he realised that he had been the first one who had been shot.He felt his chest with his right hand and he saw blood oozing out."Shit,Not so fast",he thought.He was lying by the bushes,deep cuts over his hands courtesy the barbed wires.He was scared,he was frightened.There was no escaping this time.But this was what he wanted all through these six months.And now when confronted with it he was not experiencing pleasure nor was he seeing angels pouring wine down his throat.It was not that he did not want to die but he wanted to live for sometime,just some more time god damnit,he cursed silently.He wanted to die in the hospital bed not here.He wanted to see her for one last time.He wanted to embed her voice in his head for one last time.He couldnt die now,not now.Crawling over his battered body he evaded them one by one.His survival instincts were at the peak.He was dodging the bullets now.They seemed so near but he cared less.Battered and bruised he reached his batallion crawling all the way and gave the information to his commander.

He was rushed to the medical camp in a jiffy.As news about his heroics spread so did the word spread among his near and dear one's that their hero was breathing his last.His father arrived unshaven and with unkempt hair along with his mother who resembled a ghost.They knew they were loosing their precious gem.As his father patted his hair all he said was "I want to see her once dad.Take this as your son's last wish."By this time even she had heard the news about her love being in his last stages.She had mixed emotions.She dint want him to die but knew it dint matter if he lived as far as their relationship was concerned.She knew she had gone too far now to accept him back and her father's word was her holy grail.Then she heard her phone buzz and when she answered it she heard the voice of a broken man "Please come down once and speak to my son for a moment."She packed her bags and along with her father left to the medical camp.She pulled the screen and ducked into the dimly lit make shift tent.There she saw him,his eyes transfixed on her.He looked pale but there was no mistake of the fire in his eyes.She stooped forward and held his hand.He cried like a boy who got separated from his mom in the carnival.Atlast he said to himself.He looked up at his father gratefully for granting his last wish.He felt his hand slip away from hers.His whole body started to curl upwards.His breathing was heavy and he was trying to breathe with his mouth open.There he saw it.He saw tears rolling down her cheeks as she was clutching him.The pain was now beyond any measurable parameters.There was one final upward curl and he flopped downwards slowly.Her shrieks seemed to be like loud ambulance sirens to him.It was echoing and the intensity was reducing.And then one drop of tear trickled down her cheek into his gaping mouth.He felt the angels pouring wine down his throat.The dying man had got his last drop of water.And then there was silence.His hand fell away as if in slow motion from hers.His eyes were closed.He was gone.
May his soul rest in peace.
Amen

22 comments:

Sandman said...

Awesome post dude! Heart rendering!!
Keep on writing!

Jagadish said...

that was gr8 dude..! really endearing...
more posts expected...!:-)
make it a feel good one nxt time... cos after this my heart is brken...:-)

smruthi said...

hey thtz really really nice tak my advice and plzzzzzzzz give a happy ending da..... anywyas this way a good one keep postin

Vijay said...

Hmmmm... that was interesting!

cartic said...

..I read the last line "My soul ..rest in peace" hmm the usual err whn gettin obsessed with the "he".. wondrfl post da.. Im readin it again...btw the girl's perspective ??

Arjun said...

beautiful.....nice 1st attempt

gg said...

hey...
couple of kwik pts-
1. may his soul RIP, Amen.. sounds sarcastic (to me!).. wat effect or picture did u want to conjure in d minds of ur readers wid those words..?
2. the idea-d drop of tear turnin out to b wine from d angels was beautifully conceived... infact as a reader, within me i recognised a flaw... i was a li'l nonplussed as i didnt know whether to njoi d visual imaginary of d lines, or feel d melancholy of d piece per se..
3. dis is jus a gen enquiry.. has it always gotta b "all or nothing" wid men..? is "to move on" d hardest phrase in their dictionary..?!

i'm in d process of reading d rest of your articles.. n.. like d elders say, women shd nvr laff so aloud.. bt.. am sure they wud forgive me as am readin ur blog entries! gr8 going! :)

i loved: ceased to exist.. female=male+gay! *lol*
n d one on tambram damsels... intelligence n wit can take u places... even to a woman's heart! ;)

gud luck bud.... keep blogging!

Anush said...

Good one!!! but a predictable ending............Kudos!!!

ashwin sundar said...

@sandman:Thanx for ur comment!
@jag & @smruthi:I thought this was feel good only..after all the guy got wat he wanted..it was a happy ending
@vijay:Wat can I say!

ashwin sundar said...

@cartic:guess u shud be changin ur glasses again..good that u re-read it..this is a story dear not a perspective
@jun:Thank ya
@gg:The only gg i know of is a staff of myn @ coll..guess you are not her..to answer ur ques here I go
1.I wasnt sarcastic..infact any impression of that charcter u get is in all those lines before not the last two one's I guess
2."Is to move on?" the only thing in a girls dictionary..go all the way or drown..dont ask y 'cos i dont know... gr8 to know ur havin the patience to read all of them and thanx for ur comment..it was interesting...and by any chance u from delhi?
@anush:Guess it was predictable..right..

gg said...

h.m.m... am a chennai-born confused chennai-ite... anyways, wat made u think delhi..?? hv only located dat place on an atlas.. 10yrs ago.... but still wonderin hw a dot can represent a city.. n its people.. n people's dreams.. n h.m.m.. no more of my pop-musings..

Keshi said...

thats a good write-up :)

Keshi.

ashwin sundar said...

@keshi:thanx..
@gg:h.m.m. chennai ok..delhi wild guess nothin else..another wild guess u workin @ b'lore?he he...

Sameera said...

ashwin sundar
some awesome writing that

its just sad that the bloggers block gets to u once in a while cos this was really good stuff

expecting more of such story write ups..good luck

gg said...

lol bud.. thot i said chennai-ite..!!! den again.. u got a crystal ball or sthin..?? coz i'm infact in blore rt nw.. doin my internship... :) n in one n a hf yrs i hope to b in ladakh chasin UFOs..!! :D

ashwin sundar said...

@gg:C my crystal ball is working..he he..internship huh cool..u studyin?and wats about ladakh and ufo's..now this is cool v r chatting on blog..he he..

ashwin sundar said...

@sam:thanx for the comment..will definitely try writing more..

gg said...

i'v kinda always been fascinated by dis UFO thingie.. grey aliens... n abduction stuff :) n like Area 51, aliens r supposedly visitin ladakh..!! :D :D h.m.m... anyways... wen nt studyin the UFO phenomenon, i'd b sleepin over my journalism buks!!! ...so u r a Tambram Iyer wearing braces, who i guess doesnt wanna do watever he is doin rt nw in h'bad..!!

ashwin sundar said...

@gg:Dint get a word of wat u sayin..UFO aliens n in between ladakh n wats area 51?n u a journalist?too many questions I guess..me an iyer not from tambaram from hyderabad now @ hyd but studied engg @ trichy..this is crazy..this has become blog messenger..he he..if u have a yahoo id add me up..n as to braces I have taken them off since april :-)

gg said...

Ho buddy..!!!!! Tambram aint Tambaram :)) its tamil brahmin..! ;)) yup, wil add u to me msngr.. u askin fer trouble..!!!!!! :D

ashwin sundar said...

@gg:He He k..was thinkin tambaram..wogay lets c how big the trouble is :D

haarika said...

woooooooooooooooow.... very noce first attempt.... u could make livin out of it... what say?????? anyways next time please givee happy endin.....

There was an error in this gadget